Seeing Her Soul
by AznGeezer
Summary: Trunks is born blind but is best friends with Pan, and soon to be lovers. He finally get a chance to see but with her low self confidence, does Pan really want him to?
1. The Beginning

A/N: Hey guys! I'm glad to let you know that I have not dropped off the face of the planet with a new story! I got this idea from a show I watched once. Hope you all will like it and please review! Thanks.  
  
Ages:  
  
Trunks (beginning)-8  
  
(later)-22  
  
Pan (beginning)-6  
  
(later)-20  
  
Goten-21  
  
Summary: Trunks was born blind and he and Pan are best friends, soon turned lovers. Trunks soon gets a chance to see but with Pan's low self- confidence, she's not completely sure she wants him to.  
  
~Chapter 1~  
  
A young boy was sitting on the edge of a high cliff, looking out at the orange yellow sky. Anyone would swear that he was looking out at the beautiful sunset as his bright blue eyes were sparkling excitedly. This was the first time he was allowed out by himself, with the exception of the small girl next to him. His mother was very protective of her son. One would think he was a normal boy, enjoying the setting of the sun on a lonely Sunday afternoon but the small dark haired girl sitting beside him knew better! Although the girl was only 6 years of age, she had managed to convince his mother to let him spend the day with her. It was awfully difficult as his mother worried about him constantly being attacked when he couldn't even defend himself due to his blindness, but his mother knew she trust the girl and her fighting skills. The tiny girl swore to protect him if they were ever attacked but she knew a secret that was being kept from her friends' mother. The young boy named Trunks could take care of himself even better than little Pan could! As he was born without sight, his other senses had developed to be extremely sharp. Although his mother wouldn't let his father train him, he had been secretly training with his best friends Goten and Pan, who had been teaching him everything they've ever learned.  
  
Pan didn't understand why her friends' mother wouldn't let him learn how to fight! He was part saiyan after all and it was in their blood. She herself had even less saiyan blood in her but the urge to fight was still great. She knew it was wrong to teach him to fight when his mother didn't like it but Trunks had pleaded and pleaded with her and Goten until they had given in. Secretly, she knew if it was anyone else, she wouldn't have helped them, not wanting to face the wrath of all the adults, but Pan had a big soft spot for the lavender haired boy next to her. She did not understand these feelings she felt towards him but every time his eyes would shift in her direction, blood would rush to her face and she would turn away. After that, she would feel silly, as he was not able to see the red in her face anyway! Looking down at her watch, she jumped up.  
  
"Trunks! I have to take you home! Ms. Bulma said she wanted you home by now and we are late!"  
"Oh, couldn't we stay just a little bit longer? This is the first time I've ever been out here without my mother and I wanted to enjoy it a while longer." Trunks eyes moved in her direction.  
  
"But.but." Pan didn't want to get in trouble and knew she had to think of a reason to drag Trunks home. "Oh! But Ms. Bulma would worry so much and.and if we're bad, then she won't ever let you go out again by yourself!" She smiled.  
  
Trunks sighed. He didn't like his mother's over protectiveness. Did she not remember he was a saiyan? He understood why though and appreciated her love immensely. Why did he have to be cursed without sight? He was tired of everyone pampering him. He just wanted to be treated normally! It was only the little girl beside him who treated him like wanted to, like he was completely normal and capable of taking care of himself! "Alright, let's go," he gave in.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was many years later that Trunks' life was at a turning point. Fourteen years to be exact. He was now 22 years old with a promising career ahead of him. Trunks was in line to be the next president of their family company. His blindness made it difficult for Bulma to decide if she should hand her company down to Trunks or not but she really wanted to keep it in the family and her daughter didn't know the first thing about business. It would be difficult but with Pan as his assistant, he knew they could pull it off. Trunks didn't want to be the next president but he would, to keep his mother happy. Pan always knew that his good heart would one day be rewarded.  
  
The three of them were still best of friends, Trunks, Goten and Pan. Over the years, they have survived lots together, including Bulma's wrath and the rest of their parent's when they found out they had been training Trunks ever since he was young. Bulma had finally calmed down when Trunks told her he was old enough to take care of himself and proved it when he went on the tour of the galaxy with Pan and Goku. (Let's say they went on the tour when Pan was 14 and he was 16) His mother eventually learned how grown up her son had become and took her over protectiveness of her son down a few notches, with the help of Vegeta.  
  
Trunks had grown into a handsome young man as everyone always told him so. He wanted to believe them but it was hard when you couldn't see yourself as he so wanted to. Even more so than wanting to see himself, he wanted to see Pan. Over the last year, his feelings for her abruptly took a sharp turn. He realized his feelings for her was deeper than just a friendship and hoped secretly that she may have the same feelings for him. He was too shy to make a move though. Though he has heard other girls whispering about how handsome he was and with the many girls who has asked him out, he has never had a girlfriend before. There was just never a girl who could have a decent conversation with and hold nothing back, with the exception of Pan. Perhaps that's why he developed feelings for her. She was different than all the other girls, he could tell, and was his best friend. That was an added bonus! He knew her on the inside really well and although he has never been able to see her, he thought she was so beautiful on the inside that he could care less what she looked like physically.  
  
Not that it was a problem though. For one, she had let him trace her face before and he thought she was extremely, physically beautiful. Plus, he also knew for a fact she was beautiful as his sister would jealously admit her beauty was even greater then her own, which was saying a lot coming from her! It was a subject Pan liked to avoid though, whenever he told her she was beautiful. She would always turn away and he could tell she didn't believe him. It was because of an incident when she was 13. Even being part saiyan, it seemed like her human side wanted her to be sick for once. She had gotten a bad case of the chicken pox. She didn't even feel sick when she headed off for school that morning but as the day progressed, she felt worse and worse. It had started on her face and then worked its way down her body but she still didn't seem to understand why she was itching like crazy, until some stupid jerk in her class who she despised called her ugly. The rest of the class started laughing at her and pointing. Even after she had healed, it wasn't over. At the end of the school year when everyone was signing yearbooks, some people actually wrote stuff about her being too ugly and should leave the school. That was before she had her growth spurt though and now, no one could call her ugly without lying, but she didn't believe them. She believed they were just saying it to make her feel better.  
  
Over the years, Pan finally found out what those feelings she had for Trunks were. She had had a crush on him! She knew now though that it wasn't a crush anymore though. She actually truly, deeply, liked him.maybe even loved him. She wasn't sure. One thing that she always knew was that Trunks would one day get better and she would be there to help him. But she hadn't known that day would come so soon.  
  
At the time, her family had been taking a vacation in Hawaii when Pan came across a stranger. It was purely by accident how they met. He had been kind enough not to be angry or even yell at her when she came up behind him and poured her pina colada on his head, mistaking him for her new friend she had. She had apologized many times and was embarrassed when her friend Brad, who she was trying to get revenge on, came up to her and started laughing. Pan was relieved though, when the man didn't yell but started to laugh too. They introduced themselves and he gave her his business card and told her to call him sometime, just to hang out. As she looked down, her heart almost stopped. He was Dr. Jonathon Carlson, the most famous eye doctor in the world and was renowned for his specialty in blindness. Pan had felt a flutter of hope and quickly asked if he could help her friend. She had explained his condition the best she could and promised that Trunks' mother would be willing to pay any price for her son to be able to see. Dr. Carlson had agreed to travel to Japan to see him and Pan was ecstatic.  
  
But her spirit was quickly dimmed. Though she would be so happy for Trunks if he could see, she also felt saddened. What would happen when Trunks finally looked at her? She knew he wouldn't but he would probably want to take back all of those times he told her she was beautiful. She knew she was ugly, and once Trunks gets a glimpse of all of those beautiful woman who were after him, he wouldn't give Pan a second thought anymore. NO! She told herself. I will not let my selfishness take away Trunks' chance at happiness, even if it means giving mine up.  
  
A/N: Well, this is only the first chapter so far. I have more plans for this story yet to come! I hope you will all review and let me know what you think. Just to let you know, though you probably already know, I am the worst writer I know, but I'm attempting to improve but I hope it was ok anyways! Please keep reading! 


	2. Mixed Emotions

A/N: Hi everyone! I'm really glad so many of you reviewed. Thank you so much and I hope you will continue reviewing, letting me know what you think.  
  
~Chapter 2~  
  
When Pan had arrived home with her new friend, Dr. Carlson, everyone was extremely happy, especially Trunks. They had high hopes for Trunks' recovery but Dr. Carlson had told them not to get their hopes too high until he had a chance to examine Trunks himself. Trunks knew he shouldn't get his hopes up since previous doctors had told him how slim his chances of a full recovery would be, but Dr. Carlson seemed promising. Pan just somehow knew that this time, it would work out. This was the chance Trunks had been given by suffering for so many years.  
  
Luckily, the results of his examination went well and it seems he has a fair chance at recovering, though not 100%. Trunks' operation was set for two weeks from now.  
  
Pan was very happy that Trunks would make an almost full recovery. Although, there was still a tiny twinge in her heart that made her uneasy at the thought of what might happen when Trunks got his sight back. Her feelings for him grew more intense ever since she got back from vacation and it was scaring her to think how much it would hurt to see his disappointment he sees her. There was one afternoon, about a week before Trunks' operation that the two of them sat down together and had a long chat.  
  
They were up in his room laying side by side on his bed, enjoying each other's company when the topic of his operation came up once again. "You know, Pan, I really can't wait to see what the world really looks like. I mean, I touch stuff, but I can only imagine what it really looks like." Trunks said with his eyes closed.  
  
"I can't imagine what it's like, your whole life not being able to see anything, not even your loved ones." Pan replied. Trunks turned to face her.  
  
"It can be really difficult at times, but just knowing that soon, I might be able to see you all, mum, dad, my sister, Goten, and especially you, is making me see a whole new light these days," Trunks smiled at her. His blue eyes were sparkling excitedly, just like the time when he was a little boy, going off to see the sunset, even though he really couldn't. He reached over and began to stroke her face. "I really really want to see you," he whispered.  
  
Pan began to blush and was sure he could feel the heat rise to her face. "Really?" she croaked.  
  
"Yeah," he continued to whisper. "It's a really good thing that in a few days, I'll finally be able to." Trunks leaned a bit closer.  
  
"Well, I hope I'll live up to your standards of me." Pan gave a little laugh as Trunks pulled her even closer.  
"You're really beautiful in my imagination, but I bet you're even more beautiful than how I picture you." Trunks' lips were almost on hers.  
  
Pan suddenly froze. She couldn't do this. He's expecting her to be so much in which is not. She pulled back and stood up. "Well, don't expect too much! I probably won't live up to it." She said the last part softly but he heard her anyways. Pan didn't want to think of how disappointed he would be once he actually saw her and turned to leave. "I have to go, it's almost dinnertime."  
  
"Pan, wait!" Trunks caught her arm. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Can you please stay." His eyes were looking near hers and she could see his desperation. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to kiss her, he thought.  
  
Pan gave in. She didn't want to upset him when he had been so happy these days. "Ok, I'll stay." Trunks breathed a sigh of relief. He smiled at her and she could feel a tingly feeling running through her whole body. Lust took over her body suddenly and she felt the incredible urge to kiss him. If she could just lean a bit closer, she would almost be able to touch his lips. Trunks seemed aware of the situation and leaned in that extra inch until their lips finally met in the middle.  
  
The one word to describe the kiss in both their minds was amazing. The chemistry between them was so strong that their bodies felt like they were on fire. Trunks became a little more daring and slipped his tongue into her mouth as the kiss deepened. Her hands rested on his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Pan now found out, that her feelings were lingering extremely close to love, if it hadn't already. Trunks on the other hand, knew already, even before they kissed that he loved her. This only intensified his feelings.  
  
After a while, Pan finally broke the kiss and stared at Trunks. "I wanted to do that for the longest time," Trunks breathed as he put his forehead against hers.  
  
Pan was still caught up in the heat of the moment and didn't react fast enough when Bulma came tumbling in. "Oh Trunks.oops. Sorry," she said as she saw the two in a passionate embrace.  
  
"It's Ok Bulma, I have to be getting home anyways," she turned to Trunks and smiled. "I'll call you tomorrow." Trunks nodded with a happy smile on his face as he watched her leave. He turned to his mother.  
  
"Trunks, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I didn't know you and Pan had been dating." Bulma apologized.  
  
"That's alright mom!" Trunks exclaimed because nothing could ruin his mood today.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Pan floated home, literally. Her parents didn't seem to understand what had caused the sudden change in their daughters' behavior as only this morning, she had been extremely grumpy, muttering about stupid woman and their good looks. This sudden change caused them concern for their daughter, but they didn't ask anything, not wanting to butt in on her life.  
  
It was not until the next morning that the full force of what happened hit Pan in the face. She knew she had now dug a hole in which she couldn't climb out of. Although Pan had wanted nothing more but romantic affections from Trunks, she knew they shouldn't have kissed. If they started a relationship now, Trunks wouldn't be able to look at her and tell her he didn't mind how she looked. It was better when they were just friends. Then, she wouldn't have had to put Trunks in a tough position by breaking up with her when he saw how unattractive she was. Suddenly, she had a spark of hope. She knows Trunks is a wonderful, caring man. Maybe he wouldn't care what she looked like. Maybe he really likes her already. No, I shouldn't get my hopes up, she told herself, but the tiniest part of her was still holding out hope. Maybe I should just tell him we should just be friends.  
  
Pan shook her head. Now that she had kissed him, it would be so hard as her feelings had intensified. It would be so much harder but she decided on what she had to do.  
  
She picked up the phone and dialed. The line picked up and she knew the next few words out of her mouth could change everything.  
  
A/N: Hey, sorry it was so short with a ton of fluff in it, but that's what I like! Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks 


	3. Kicking Themselves

A/N: Hey peeps! Sorry I can't update as often as now, I have started summer school and also I'm taking a history course during the summer which are both lasting until August. I hope you'll keep reading though and review. The fastest I could probably update would be along the lines of once a week maybe, until August hits. Thanks for being patient!  
  
For all you people who want me to inform them of an update, please let me know!  
  
~Chapter 3~  
  
The line picked up right away. "Pan?" Trunks voice asked.  
  
"Yeah, how did you know it was me," Pan said confused.  
  
"Oh, hehe well you said you were going to call so I just assumed it was you." Trunks' face flushed red and he was embarrassed even though she couldn't see him. He had been sitting by the phone all morning waiting for her to call but he also didn't want to sound desperate. He shouldn't have picked up so soon. Trunks kicked himself mentally.  
  
"Oh, I see. Well did you want to go out to lunch today? I want to talk to you." Pan breathed out.  
  
"Sure. I know this great little café where we can be alone. Can you come pick me up?"  
  
"Sure, I'll see you in a few." Pan replied and hung up the phone. She took a deep breath. Ok, this is alright. I just have to find a way to break it to him, Pan thought and then closed her eyes and flopped down on her bed. She didn't want to tell him nothing could happen between them. She really REALLY didn't want to. This is for the best, she thought. I can't face his disappointment.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Trunks was humming happily as he got dressed. He couldn't wait until Pan came over. I wonder what she wants to talk about, he thought. He thought of all the possibilities. Maybe she wants to start dating, he smiled, or maybe she doesn't want to. The smile immediately disappeared from his face. She wouldn't reject him.would she? Trunks' face got even paler. What if she wanted to pretend that the kiss never happened and didn't want it to mean anything? Maybe she didn't even like him at all. That thought made him sick. It would really hurt him if it were true.  
  
Ok, lets look on the bright side, he thought to himself. She might just want to talk to him about starting a relationship. Or maybe that the kiss meant so much to her and that she loved him like he loved her. His smile returned to his face, brighter than ever. I might as well stop asking myself what she wants to talk about and just let her tell me!  
  
The door to his room opened and Pan stepped in. Trunks turned around and smiled at her until he heard a small giggling noise coming from her. "What's so funny?" he frowned.  
  
"Um Trunks, you're wearing two different colors of socks." She smiled.  
  
"What? Oh I guess mom made a mistake and put a wrong pair together for me." He sighed and took off one sock. "What color is this one?" Trunks asked holding it up.  
  
"Black. Here hold on. I'll find you a white one to match your other sock," Pan giggled again and went to his sock drawer. Trunks smiled as he listened to her laughing. Her voice was soft and soothing and even when she laughed really hard, it still sounded gentle at the same time. Pan turned back around in time to see Trunks smiling at her and felt a blush rise to her cheek. He was very handsome when he smiled like that. "Here's a white sock," she said as she handed it to him. Her hand brushed against his and he grabbed her hand.  
  
"Thank you," Trunks still didn't let go.  
  
"Um Trunks, we should get going." Pan tried to keep the shakiness out of her voice as his hand caressed hers. He frowned again.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"N-Nothing. I just think we should go before the lunch crowed gets in, you know," she laughed nervously. His face was dangerously close to hers and she hardly saw the hand reach up to touch her face.  
  
"That's Ok, it doesn't matter to me." He whispered as his hand continued to trace her face. He was pulling her closer to him still.  
  
"Well, I'm hungry so m-maybe w-we should go." Pan tried to pull back, she really did. She didn't want to kiss him and then tell him that they couldn't happen but at the same time, she did want to kiss him very badly. She didn't notice she had leaned in slightly until she felt his lips touch hers.  
  
All was lost to her at that moment as Trunks kissed her back lovingly. The emotions she had boiled up since last night disappeared as she couldn't think of anything else but to the desire to be with him. He seemed to return the favor full force. A small moan came out of nowhere. Where did it come from? Pan wondered, until she realized it came from herself! The shock brought her back to reality and she hastily broke away from him.  
  
Trunks eyes flew open as he felt her pull away quickly. Did he do something wrong? Did he hurt her by accident?  
  
Pan wanted to yell and scream at herself for being so weak! What happened to the promise she had made to herself to not let Trunks hurt as much as possible? She shouldn't have kissed him again. This only made the situation she was in deeper and would cause him more pain. She did not want to cause him pain. If it was anyone in the world she didn't want to hurt, it was Trunks. Pan couldn't believe she had let her emotions get the best of her AGAIN! She was only brought back down to reality as she heard a soft voice speak.  
  
"Did I hurt you Pan?" Trunks asked timidly. At that moment, he seemed like the child she used to play with all the time with her uncle Goten. She looked into his eyes and saw a flicker of pain because it seemed to him that she had rejected him and had hurt her.  
  
"No, no you didn't." Pan answered. She felt awful. When this whole thing was her own fault for being weak, Trunks was blaming himself for her pain. She had to find a way to make him stop blaming himself. Then it hit her. Pan had to convince him that it was her fault for kissing him. Then, when she told him that they couldn't be together anymore, he would feel that she led him on and then he wouldn't want anything to do with her! She opened her mouth to speak but then stopped. This could seriously damage their friendship. Did she really want to risk losing her best friend over some silly thoughts she had in her head? But no, she scolded herself, it was her fault in the first place. If she had just not kissed him, then she wouldn't have had to decide the best way out of the situation to prevent as much pain as possible for both of them. It was better for him for her to sacrifice their friendship to prevent him as little pain as possible.  
  
Pan was about to speak when she felt his hands on her face once again and heard his words. "I want you to be the first thing I see when I open my eyes and see the world."  
  
She was at a loss for words. Why would he want to see her first? On one hand, she didn't want to disappoint him. On the other, she didn't know if she could face the disappointment. She decided to try to convince him otherwise.  
  
"Does it really matter who you see first? I mean I'm sure you would love to your family, and Vegeta, haha, I can't wait till you see him! Nah, you wouldn't want to see me first! Who cares about me? Hehe, why would you want to see me first?" Pan rambled on, trying to think of as many excuses as possible, until she felt him pull her down and kiss her once again  
  
This time though, it was short, but sweet. "Because I love you." He answered.  
  
Pan froze. Uh oh.  
  
A/N: AHH!!!! I did not intend for this scene drag on so long. It was really sappy. I didn't mean for that to happen either, but I guess I'm Ok with the results. I don't know if you people like it sappy or not, I'll try to maybe tone it down a little. MAYBE. I can't guarantee it though! I might just need it that way for the plans I have in store for this story. Please review!!!!! 


	4. Leaving

A/N: Hey sorry about not updating. I've been to busy to but now I am! First, I want to thank all of those people who reviewed.  
  
Thanks to: KittenAngel1403, GohansChica, Farhan, lyndsey, v son saiyan, cocoabear, Good Kitty, DuCksRVeRykOoL, ann, trunksvegetafrodo, o Mighty Mouse o, Pan Briefs, Crystal, young-n-hopeless, and Anonymous. Sorry if I missed anyone!  
  
To Lion of August: First off, thanks for the review and also thanks for the suggestions. This was actually my first attempt at trying a different writing style for myself. Basically, trying to add more detail, and just a fair amount of dialogue. Your suggestions were great and I'll keep in mind especially your second suggestion to not jump around as much, but it was hard in the beginning when I was just writing about parts of the past to not jump around a bit. Now that I think about it, I think you might be right. It's not really good to write stuff moving around a lot. It makes people very confused!  
  
To ONE BIG MOTHER FUCKA: Whatever.  
  
~Chapter 4~  
  
Pan was frozen stiff in place until she heard her own voice speak on its own. "I love you too." Her eyes widened. No, No, No! She just ruined everything! This was not supposed to happen like this. But the pounding of her heart and the heat in her face told her that it was everything she wanted to happen.  
  
"Really?" Trunks asked, a big smile on his face. He wouldn't admit this to anyone, but his secret dreams of being with her were finally coming true. It made him feel light headed and a bit sick to the stomach, but he welcomed the feeling with open arms.  
  
Pan looked into his eyes and saw happiness radiating from them. How could she burst his bubble now? She closed her eyes. She didn't know how much more she could take before she broke. Her inner voices were screaming at her louder than ever. An especially loud voice was telling her to back off, and save them both. But as she opened her eyes and looked deep into Trunks', she heard another voice even louder. It was telling her to stay with him, and be happy for at least another few weeks before he would turn his back on her. She might as well enjoy it while she can because when the weekend comes around, she will be anything but happy.  
  
She let him pull her into his embrace and buried her face in the crook of his neck. His arms wrapped protectively around her. "You don't know how happy you just made me," Trunks whispered to her.  
  
Guilt once again washed over her but she pushed it away this time. Pan was determined to spend these two weeks with Trunks while she could. She didn't know what would happen after his operation, and this could be the last time that they are ever going to be close again. She might as well enjoy it while it lasts.  
  
*_* *_* *_* *_* *_*  
  
The weeks went by quickly and Pan and Trunks spent every waking moment together. They were stuck together like glue. Pan enjoyed every moment of it but as the week passed, she was getting more and more nervous. It was finally Friday, the day before Trunks' operation. Pan could feel the pressure building up everywhere, not just herself. Bulma was a bit snappier than usual and even Vegeta ate less than usual at meal times. Pan felt her conscience on her harder than ever.  
  
Trunks and Pan decided to get an early start that day, seeing how Trunks was going to have to turn in very early that night in preparation of his operation. They went for an early walk; just the two of them and the subject of the operation was brought up.  
  
"I'm actually really scared," he confessed. In the two weeks that they were together, Trunks had felt that he could tell Pan everything. He trusted her more than anyone in the world.  
  
Pan squeezed his hand as they found a place to sit, leaning against a tree. "I'm sure everything will work out and be fine in the end. You just have to keep faith in yourself." Trunks turned to her.  
  
"You promise you'll be there with me the whole time? That you'll be the first person I see when I wake up?" Once again, a new wave of dread flooded through her body. She dreaded tomorrow so much but she also couldn't wait to get it over with.  
  
Pan turned away from him and tried to think of an answer quick. She didn't want to promise him, and then disappoint him later. That on top of the disappointment he was going to feel once he sees her already, is going to send her over the edge. She had already promised herself that she wasn't going to show up tomorrow, that she was going to leave tonight. It was better for him to be disappointed tomorrow than for him to find out the woman he loved was hideous and that he would have to put up with her just to not hurt her feelings.  
  
Trunks sensed her turning away and frowned. "Pan, what's wrong?"  
  
She turned around slowly and looked into his deep blue eyes. She could see everything he was feeling just by looking through the windows of his soul. Sadness that she wasn't responding to him, happiness of the two weeks they spent together, and a twinge of fear all mixed into one.  
  
The sudden overwhelming feeling of guilt for being so selfish hit her again, this time at full force. Why did she have to be so selfish? She had wanted to be with him so bad that she let herself and tomorrow, she was going to have to face the consequences of her actions. She wanted to pull away to save them both some extreme heartache but Trunks arms tightening around her stopped her.  
  
"You don't want to spend the day with me?" He asked, looking extremely hurt. Pan closed her eyes and knew she had lost to her desire for him, once again.  
  
"I do," she whispered. "You don't know how much." She closed her eyes trying to keep her tears back only to open them up to see Trunks' eyes filled with love for her. She had to do it. This could be the last time Trunks would ever love her again and she wanted to be able to have this day to remember before she would leave tonight.  
  
Pan leaned over and kissed him deeply as her hands tugged at his shirt. They spent the rest of the day making love to one another.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Pan woke in the middle of the night to a very cool breeze. The only source of warmth seemed to be behind her, with his arms around her waist, holding her tightly. Her eyes widened as she remembered the events that had taken place today. Regret immediately took over her. Regret that she will be leaving him after they made love, possibly never seeing each other again, but not regret that they had spent the whole day loving one another. No, she would never regret this day as long as she lived. It was possibly the only time she had felt true happiness.  
  
The thought of leaving him was now harder than ever as they had both lost their virginity's to each other. She felt so horrible that she was going to leave him, she suddenly broke down. Pan couldn't take the pain and guilt anymore. She knew she had to leave, leave everything behind, and everybody she loved. To her family, she had lied that she wanted to take a vacation and travel the world to have experiences of her own.  
  
Pan froze as she felt movement behind her. Trunks warily sat up and kissed her from behind. "What are you doing up?" He asked.  
  
"N-Nothing," She replied.  
  
"You're lying. Come on please tell me!" Trunks insisted.  
  
"Trunks, it's really nothing," She stared into his eyes. " I just-I just wanted to tell you that I love you. No matter what happens, I will always love you." Silent tears were running down her face. She was almost sobbing.  
  
Trunks felt her shake uncontrollably and held her tight. "There's no reason to cry. We'll always be together. And starting tomorrow when I get my sight, we'll really be able to start spending the rest of our lives together." He smiled reassuringly.  
  
"I just want you to remember that I love you. Please remember." Pan said, trying to hold back tears.  
  
"Of course I will. I could never forget." Trunks answered.  
  
"Good." She nodded.  
  
"Let's go back to sleep. I have to have an early start tomorrow remember?" He grinned.  
  
Pan fell back into his arms and waited until she was sure he deep asleep and then slowly pulled out of his embrace. She gathered her clothes and put them on. With one last look and a whisper of, "I love you", she left.  
  
A/N: This really screws everything up huh? I'm writing this story as I go on and I knew I wanted her gone for the day of the operation but not for such long trip! AHHH!!! Oh well, don't worry my peeps, this will have a happy ending! Please review and ciao! 


	5. Left in the Dark

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated. I just finished a big exam that I spent lots of time cramming for!  
  
Thanks to: DuCksRVeRykOoL, lulu, Gothic/punk Panny, KittenAngel1403, TrunxChic, Artemis the Goddess, young-n-hopeless, trunksvegetafrodo, mysterious-mask, Wind8, chibi playing with fire, Anonymous, v son saiyan, GohansChica, babe_galanime, bmrdbgt, P*A*N28, Lion of August, Legolas, and sophie.  
  
To Laura-chan: Thanks for your review. You said to try not to make it like that Val Kilmer movie, At First Sight. I have never watched that movie so I have absolutely no idea what it was about! Hehe maybe you could tell me?  
  
~Chapter 5~  
  
The sun was shining down brightly into Trunks' eyes when he woke up. He rubbed his eyes and turned to wrap his arms around Pan. As his hands circled around nothing but air, Trunks started to really wake up. A frown graced his handsome face as he couldn't sense Pan anywhere.  
  
Where is she? He wondered. Maybe she decided to head back first and not wake me knowing I should have a good night's rest. Trunks felt the time on his watch. (Isn't there some sort of watch that blind people can have to tell time?) He jumped up and gathered all of his clothes and rushed to the hospital. He was supposed to be there in 20 minutes!  
  
It was a few hours later when his preparations were done. Trunks' family were there waiting to comfort him before his operation. Bulma as usual was fussing over him.  
  
"Don't worry Trunks honey, everything is going to be fine! Pan found you the best doctor possible," she exclaimed, only to have her husband nudge her softly in the side. Her eyes widened as she realized what she has just said. Bulma knew how much her son loved Pan and wanted her support through the whole operation but she hadn't shown up yet. Neither had Gohan and Videl yet for that matter. She didn't want to worry her son at this moment.  
  
"Pan! Mother, where is she?" Trunks asked.  
  
"Uh, she isn't here yet." Bulma stammered.  
  
"What!? Mom, I want her to be here. I-I don't think I can do this without her." Trunks all but shouted.  
  
"Trunks, please calm down OK? Look, Gohan and Videl aren't here yet either. Maybe they're just running late." She comforted. Trunks relaxed, but only slightly.  
  
"Mom, I'm fine OK? Please just try to get them here as soon as possible. I want to know that Pan is going to be here when I wake up. Just then, the door to his room opened and Dr. Carlson walked in.  
  
"How are you feeling? Are you ready?" He asked.  
  
"It's time already?" Bulma exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, I'm afraid the sooner we have the operation, the greater his chances are."  
  
"But, can't we just wait a few more minutes. I want to wait till gets here to start."  
  
"I'm sorry. I really suggest we start right now. Your chances are decreasing as we speak. The sooner, the better." Dr. Carlson sighed.  
  
"Trunks, just go ahead. We'll make sure Pan is here when you're out. She would be mad if she realized that you're decreasing your chances of success just for her." His sister stated.  
  
"Fine! Fine. I'm ready." Trunks sighed, defeated.  
  
Trunks was then wheeled into the operation room where his life would change once he got out.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
She was sitting by his side, holding his hand as he came out of the operation. The doctor had said everything had been fine and he was going to see just fine. She was overjoyed. He was going to unwrap his bandages and see her for the first time and smile that brilliant smile of his. Trunks was going to lean over and kiss her and tell her how beautiful she was. Pan couldn't wait.  
  
As his eyes opened and blinked a few times, he smiled and turned towards Pan. His face however, then contorted into a look of horror.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Pan arrived in the beautiful city of London, England only a few hours ago. This was already the third city she had stopped at to try to find a suitable home but had no luck so far. She desperately wanted to go home and to be with Trunks and her family but the dream always stopped her from turning around.  
  
It had started the night she had left home. The recurring dream haunted her every night to the point where she would almost believe that it had actually happened. She did not want to go home and have it turn from a dream to reality.  
  
Pan hadn't been able to settle down in one city because of the lack of work. She hadn't finished university before she left so it was extremely hard to find a good paying job to support herself. By the time she had arrived in London, she had given up looking for a good job and would settle for any sort of job. She was running out of money by staying in a hotel every night but she had not found a place to live yet.  
  
It was a few days later that she found a waitressing job at a local café. When Pan had first met the owner, she had been horrified. Her face was covered with 2nd degree burns from a fire and completely misshaped her face. Pan had eventually calmed down enough to realize that the woman was extremely friendly and was willing to hire her! She had even met her new boss' husband, Mr. Gear. He was as nice as his wife was and welcomed her with open arms.  
  
When they realized Pan didn't have a place to stay, they immediately offered her a place at their home. Pan had turned it down, not wanting to intrude but they insisted until she finally gave in.  
  
Pan was just settling in for the night when her thoughts turned back to her family and friends at home. She missed Trunks so much but knew staying here was for his best interests. She could only hope that he didn't despise her enough so that they couldn't even be friends after.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Trunks was just wheeled into the operation room when Gohan and Videl rushed in. "Is everything OK?" Gohan asked.  
  
"Yes but it almost wasn't! Where were you two? And where is Pan!?" Bulma demanded.  
  
"You mean she didn't tell you guys? She's taking a trip and won't be back for a while.but I don't understand. Why didn't she tell you?" Videl asked.  
  
"She didn't even tell Trunks! He wasn't even going to go through with the operation until she was here. Luckily, we managed to convince him otherwise by telling him that she was going to be here when he woke up! How could she do this to him?!" Bulma yelled.  
  
"I didn't know! I thought she told Trunks," Gohan defended and then turned to Videl. "I thought it was weird that she would be leaving at the time of his operation."  
  
"Well then, why didn't you question her?" Vegeta asked.  
  
"Because she said she really needed a break from everything going on in her life, so we just let her!"  
  
"The real question is, who's going to tell Trunks when he wakes up?" Vegeta stated.  
  
A/N: Please review! Thanks. I know this chapter really sucked and I had an extremely hard time writing it so please give me a break. It may be kind of boring but I needed this chapter to move things along so please understand. 


	6. Recovery

A/N: Thanks to everyone for all your great reviews and support. I finally decided to come home from my trip to mars and start writing this story again! (Har Har) But seriously, I know you're all pretty mad that I haven't updated forever but I was sort of stuck in a read only mode for fanfics these past months. I really just haven't felt like writing much but I finally decided to give it another shot and so here we are, a seventeen year old home on a Friday night writing this! I finally started back into writing mode. FINALLY.  
  
~Chapter 6~  
  
"There's going to be a hole in the table soon if she keeps that up," the woman said as she observed the young brunette.  
  
"I think there might be something on her mind. Maybe she works hard to forget her troubles," the man replied.  
  
"I'm starting to get worried about that girl. She's been very quiet ever since last week. I don't know what to say to her but I don't want to pry into her personal life. It's none of our business," his wife said softly.  
  
"I know," the man sighed as he patted his wife on the shoulder, "We'll just have to hope that she wants to come to us and talk about it."  
  
Across the room, the young waitress scrubbed the same spot on the table for what seemed like the millionth time, but the damn spot wouldn't disappear! She tried to block out the conversation from across the room but her sensitive hearing wasn't helping very much. She knew the couple that owned the café was talking about her and tried very hard not to look as if she heard but it was difficult when she knew they were worried about her.  
  
Pan sighed as she remembered the moments that took place last week. There she was, minding her own business, sitting on the living room couch trying hard not to think about home because it made her too sad, when suddenly, the news was turned on by Mr. Gear. Of course, as she was missing home, god decided to torture her by making her watch the news on Mr. Briefs and his recent operation. She became extremely upset and overcome by guilt when the reporter reported on how he had a major setback on his recovery because of extreme emotional stress. He had apparently refused to take his medicine and had thrown a huge tantrum. The reporter had said no one knew the cause of the emotional grief, as his family refused to tell the media anything.  
  
The thing that had made Pan feel the guiltiest, above everything, had not been her leaving Trunks, but was the fact that the reporter had said Mr. Briefs had refused to take the bandages covering his eyes off. The public was extremely confused by his strange behavior and thought maybe he was starting to lose it completely.  
  
By the end of the report, Pan was having the hardest time trying to look as if she wasn't about to burst into tears. She didn't want to worry Mr. and Mrs. Gear. It had only been weeks since she had left home but it felt more like years. The guilt was slowly eating at her and she felt like she was going to lose it soon. Pan had to keep on reminding herself why she was there in the first place. It was to give Trunks time to get over her and to move on before she went back home. She thought it was for the best.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Trunks was a mess. He had been having major temper tantrums and everyone who knew about the saiyans knew that an enraged saiyan was extremely dangerous, not to mention an enraged super saiyan. He didn't believe it when poor Vegeta, who in the end was the one stuck with the job of telling Trunks that Pan had left, had told him the truth. He had been in major denial for the first week after his operation and kept telling himself that Pan was going to walk through the door anytime. Trunks wouldn't take off his bandages even when the doctor said they needed him to, to see if the operation was completely successful. Trunks remembered what he had told Pan and really wanted to keep his word.  
  
After the second week, he slowly began to realize the possibility of Pan not coming to see him, but refused to accept that she would leave him when he needed her the most. Trunks began to worry about her. Maybe she was in some sort of trouble and needed their help so he didn't understand why his family wasn't worried about her.  
  
Gohan and Videl didn't want to tell Trunks the truth as they didn't want him to know that Pan really had left him. Everyone was really worried about him right now and setting him off wasn't going to help at all.  
  
It was finally after a month that the doctors and Trunks family was able to convince him to remove the bandages. Trunks wanted nothing more but to see Pan when he opened his eyes for the first time in a month but his hope dissolved as he didn't sense her in the room that day. He had to admit to himself that he was extremely curious as to what the world looked like and the only disappointing moment of it was that not everyone he wanted was there. He realized then that Pan wasn't going to see him and it left him lost and confused.  
  
Trunks' parents were extremely overjoyed, (well mostly Bulma), that his operation was very successful. Dr. Carlson said that he should make a full recovery but that there was still a small chance that there might be complications. Trunks didn't worry about it as it was only a small chance and had decided right then and there that he would wait for Pan, wherever she was, to come back to him.  
  
If they hadn't made love the night before his operation, he might have become angry and doubt that Pan ever loved him, but he learned that night that what he felt for her was real and deep and he was a hundred percent positive that Pan had felt it too. He believed she must have been overwhelmed and had left because things were moving too fast. Trunks smiled. Sure, he was hurt at first but he was ok now. He had long forgiven her. It had only made him more determined than ever to make her return to his side. He would wait. Trunks knew she would come back sooner or later. Love made him do funny things.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Sigh, I know, I know. Long wait, short chapter. But I really wanted this out as soon as I started writing again. Again, I'm really sorry. I know the torture of waiting for updates in fanfics. *Gets down on knees* Please keep reading still! *sob* 


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